Mistoffelees: the hat molester cat
by Deminia
Summary: A little thing me and Bianca put together, because we had ideas that matched. Title says it all, please read and review, but don't review unless you've read.
1. Mistoffelees: the hat molester cat

I wrote this little thingy with Bianca Mephisto and thus she should get half the blame for it, also neither of us own CATS, except on DVD, but sadly enough that doesn't count.

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The hat molester cat.

It was a lovely spring day, most of the queens were in heat, and had long since found someone to spend the day with; but their scent still hung thickly in the air of the old abandoned junkyard, as Mistoffelees was unlucky enough to find out.

Mistoffelees sighed as he tried once again to sense if there were any queens nearby - the scent had made him wanton, but there wasn't anyone around. Mistoffelees cursed softly to himself as he sat down next to the hat Bustopher Jones used to sit on whenever he came to visit them at the Junkyard, not that that happened often these days. His owners had moved to an area in London that was quite far from the junkyard. He mindlessly stroked the hat while thinking of how miserable he was, when suddenly his paw cought on something.

Misto tilted his head slightly as he realized there was a hole in the hat. He once again looked around, there was still nobody but him… well besides the hat. Mistoffelees frowned to himself, had he just seriously considered the hat? Nah, he was just joking, yeah, that was it. He was just joking. He tried to convince himself whilst still softly stroking the hat, quite unaware of what he was doing. At least untill he felt the sudden urge of pleasure, that is.

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Completely embarrassed Mistoffelees quickly hid the hat and went back to his human's home; he just hoped that no-one would notice the extra stain. But what our dear Mistoffelees forgot was that magical cats have magical seed, and so a few months later, when Bustopher Jones finally came by the junkyard again, and Mistoffelees went to grab a certain hat, it was giving birth to 7 adorable little kittens. As Mistoffelees pulled them out one by one, he vaguely heard his friend The Rum Tum Tugger say: "and they call me a show off! Blasted little kitten."

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Hope you enjoyed it sofar, be sure to check the next chapter to see Bianca's work on this little thing :) 


	2. The Mistakes of a Molested Hat

The mistakes of a molested hat

Oh, the shame. The complete shame. Just because I'm a hat you can't use me in any way, you know. I'm supposed to be put on heads, not abused and hidden. But let us start from the beginning. I guess you didn't know that we hats have minds now, did you? Very few people actually do. It's a pity. Oh yes, what a pity.

Well, I once belonged to a wealthy, rich man who wore me every day. Ah, those were the glamour days. But you see, as the time passed as it's being in the habit of, I grew out of date. I got thrown away and then I ended up in a junkyard. That, I would have thought terrible, if it hadn't been for a certain gentleman, in a fastidious coat, who called himself Bustopher Jones. I had seen him every now and then in the fine clubs and I considered him worthy to own me. I was happy, even as they used me to sit on. Not the best way to use a hat, but it was understandable. The gentleman wasn't very big and couldn't use me as a hat. He was round though, and after months of use I got torn by his heavy abdomen. I got holes.

I could still have lived in a rather nice ignorance, if not this little kitten had appeared on the scene. He used to sit next to me, and I find it quite understandable that I was flattered. I grew quite fond of him in time, you see. My affection could have grown even stronger if not for one special incident.

One day he decided to use me in a way I wasn't convenient with. He used me, to please his own little needs and I ended up pregnant. Can you believe it? Pregnant! I'm a hat! And it wasn't even within a proper ownership!

As I'm perfectly reasonable and also against abortion, I decided to keep the babies. I thought that when he found out he would take his responsibility and come back to me. I also hoped, foolishly I know now, that maybe he would show some affection and declare a proper ownership. So I continued, with my shame, to carry on. The one hope of a true ownership of love, was all I had.

Oh how wrong I was. When it was time for the kittens to come, he just picked them right out of me. Not caring the tinest bit about my dignity. There I was, upside down, showing off my most private parts and I had just given birth to seven kittens. And they all just stared! All the cats kept staring at me. The nerve!

And Mistoffelees, the cat I secretly called my Mistoffelees just threw me away without a word. And here I've been since then. All alone until you passed by.

The reason I decided to tell you this is because I think the world's hats deserve to know. They deserve to know that Mistoffelees is not to be trusted. He is ready to use anyone at anytime and wont take responsibility for his actions. So hear thee and learn from my mistakes. The mistakes of a molested hat.

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Well then, now that you've read the story, how about giving us a nice little review. 

A flame will also do, seeing as it's cold.


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